3 Days Left

July 1, 2009 @ 01:41 PM in Personal · 0 Comments

So today is the first of July, which means that in 3 days I will depart from Indiana with my two brothers and set off south to see our mother in Kansas. Where in the past, I've somewhat looked forward to seeing her, this time marks a significant land mark for me emotionally in that I don't. I haven't seen her in a year, since last summer, and it wouldn't bother me to do it again. Maybe it's because I've grown used to not having her in my life, and it's beginning to hit me that next summer, I won't have to go see her if I don't want to. I'll turn 18 years old in May, a legal adult - the court ruling in terms of custody will no longer apply to me.

It's a rather awkward feeling, if I'm honest. Because while I think my mother is a less than perfect one, I still love her. I mean, I guess I don't think that our lack of a relationship makes her a bad person. I know she means well, I guess its just to late for that to affect me? I don't know. It's complicated.

Have you ever had to deal with something like this? Leaving your friends behind for what some would call a "less than perfect" family vacation?